


The Bright Side

by LondonKdS



Category: Farscape
Genre: Ableism, Alternate Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Implied/Referenced Torture, Mirror Universe, Season/Series 01, alt!Crais has his worst day ever, pre-Nerve, spoilers for subsequent episodes, the main universe is the evil one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-10
Updated: 2011-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:55:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25489597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LondonKdS/pseuds/LondonKdS
Summary: An inter-universe wormhole opens up on Moya's Command, and John Crichton finds himself in an eerily civilised and just universe. Meanwhile, Captain Bialar Crais of the Peacemaker Congregation, heroic commander of its flagship, the Leviathan Moya, has the worst day of his entire life.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	The Bright Side

**Author's Note:**

> Set late in S1, after Chiana's arrival but before "A Bug's Life".

He was lying on a hard floor, blinded by the wormhole light, the air torn out of his lungs by the vacuum, his ears popping. A familiar voice snapped at him, gradually becoming comprehensible.

“Identify yourself! How did you arrive here! Where is the Captain?”

“Aeryn?” he said.

There was a pause, followed by an even more angry and frightened “How do you know my name? Identify yourself, now!”  
John’s sight was coming back into focus. He was looking up at Aeryn, who had a pulse pistol pointed directly into his face. A pulse pistol that looked different to anything he’d seen before: silvery, lighter, more fragile, designed to look more like an ornament than a killing device. But Aeryn was different too, her hair shorter and cut to neatly frame her face, a touch of make-up, a sky blue uniform. 

“I’m John Crichton. I think I fell through some kind of little wormhole. Where am I?”

“Where is the Captain?” D’Argo’s voice, tense and threatening. John turned his head and saw D’Argo, also with pistol aimed at him. He was wearing the same kind of uniform as Aeryn, not Peacekeeper leathers but a light blue polyester uniform, cut more like an American air force uniform that anything John had seen in the Uncharted Territories. His face tattoos were softer, less jagged, and the hair around his tankas shaved clean.

“I don’t know where your Captain is. I told you, I came through a wormhole. Did he go the other way?”

Aeryn’s and D’Argo’s eyes and posture told John that they probably weren’t going to shoot him straight away. He sat up cautiously and looked around him. It had the same shape as _Moya's_ command, but otherwise everything was different. The colours were lighter, aluminium and sky blue instead of bronze and brown, and the light was brighter and clearer. It smelled different, some kind of scented cleaning fluid and polish instead of _Moya's_ animal funk. And it was full of people, people of all sizes and shapes, all wearing the same blue colour. Sebaceans, but also red-skinned Sykarians, a feathered, winged creature clinging to a terminal attached to the ceiling, a tank of water on caterpillar tracks with some kind of cephalopod floating inside and reaching out over the edge to touch controls…

“There was a flash of light where he was standing, he vanished, and then the light spat you out”, D’Argo said.

John chuckled, which he probably shouldn’t have done. “Sorry. Sorry. It’s just, this is one of those mirror-universe things, isn’t it?”

“What are you talking about”, Aeryn shouted. 

“I… Look. A miniature wormhole opened up on the Command of _Moya_.”

“This is _Moya_! Where are you from?”

“My _Moya_. This is obviously some kind of other dimension or alternate timeline or something where everything’s the same or only a little bit different. What’s with the uniforms?”

“You don’t recognise them? This is the Leviathan _Moya_ of the Peacemaker Congregation. What part of the universe are you from?”

“I told you, I’m not from this universe. The wormhole must have opened up between the same places in two different ones. Where I’m from _Moya_ isn’t part of some Peacekeeper Federation, we’re… we’re an independent vessel. There are versions of you, Aeryn, and you… D’Argo?” 

D’Argo stiffened in shock. “Middling-Commander Ka to you.”

“Yeah, sorry.” John looked around him again. “I can’t see anyone else I know. Zhaan? Rygel? Chiana? Does this Leviathan have a Pilot?” He saw from Aeryn’s and D’Argo’s reactions that they recognised all the names. Real shock about Rygel, for some reason.

Aeryn was considering. “But we’ve never seen you before. So if you come from some other dimension, where there are different versions of some of us, are you there instead of Captain Crais?”

John suddenly felt a lot more worried. “Crais, did you say Crais? Captain Bialar Crais?”

“Yes”, said D’Argo, “Captain Bialar Crais. One of the most decorated captains of the Congregational Fleet, and the finest man I have ever served under.”

“Well”, John thought, “He’s completely frelled then.”

* * *

He was lying on a hard floor, blinded by the wormhole light, the air torn out of his lungs by the vacuum, his ears popping. A familiar voice snapped at him, gradually becoming comprehensible.

“Identify yourself! How did you arrive here! Where is Kryton?”

“First Officer Sun?” he said. “Who is Kryton?”

There was a pause, followed by an even more angry and frightened “How do you know my name? Identify yourself, now!”

Crais sat up on his elbows, his vision clearing. He was looking up at Aeryn Sun, her face naked, long hair savagely pulled back, and dressed from head to toe in black leather, glaring down at him with a vicious, blocky-looking pistol pointed directly at his face. And Middling-Commander Ka, but wildly bearded, with bared chest in traditional Luxan robes, and pointing an opened Qualta blade at him. “I…”

There was a yell from someone hidden behind Ka. “It’s Crais! Can’t you see! He’s shaved off his beard and he’s disguised as an imbecile, but it’s Crais! He’s kidnapped Kryton and he’s here to kill us all while we’re too shocked to fight back!” The person shouting flew up over Ka’s shoulder where Crais could see him, a Hynerian on an anti-grav sled. Crais gasped as he recognised the man, and tried to bow as best he could while sitting on the floor.

“Your majesty! My greetings to you, sir. I apologise for not addressing you immediately.”

The Dominar snarled in rage and spat a lump of mucus into Crais’s face. “You still mock me! You weren’t even born when I was deposed. Well, you’ve made a mistake now. You think I care what you’ve done with Kryton?” Rygel drew a wicked-looking knife from his robes and began to swoop down on Crais, but Aeryn grabbed his sled.

“I care what’s happened to Kryton, even if you don’t. Maybe you can have your fun later, but not till we know he’s safe.”

Crais tried to calm himself, looking around. He was on a Leviathan, but a Leviathan shockingly different from _Moya_. The light was dull, everything decorated in copper and earth tones. The place smelt, like a stables. And apart from these altered versions of Aeryn, Ka, and Dominar Rygel, the bridge was deserted.

“I’m sorry, I’ve got no idea what you are talking about. Some kind of energy phenomenon opened up on my bridge, and I found myself brought here. Yes, I am Captain Bialar Crais of the Peacemaker Congregation, but I have kidnapped no-one and I‘m here to kill nobody. Your majesty, I apologise, once again, for anything that I may have done to offend you. And, First Officer Sun, Middling-Commander Ka, please explain the situation to me.”

Ka made a furious gesture. “He’s trying to confuse us. Pilot!”

Pilot’s face appeared in the holographic clamshell. “Ka D’Argo. Zhaan and I are still attempting to decipher the energy signature of the event in Command. Was anybody hurt?”

“Pilot, Kryton has disappeared completely and Crais is here for some reason. Can you detect any Peacekeeper vessels nearby?”

“Moya can detect no vessels in the area. Crais is in Command?” 

“Yes, and there is no sign of Kryton.”

“I will send some DRDs to help you restrain him.” Pilot’s face disappeared.

“Please”, Crais said, “tell me what is going on. And why you’re all so angry with me?” He tentatively tried a smile, but dropped it when Ka closed the blade and threatened to swing it at him.

“Be quiet until we speak to you!”

“D’Argo, wait a moment”, said Aeryn. “Crais, what is the Peacemaker Congregation?”

“You know very well, it’s the organisation that all of us work for. Where is _Moya_?”

“He is trying to frell with our minds!” 

“D’Argo, Crais doesn’t usually play games like this. Crais, this is Moya. How do you think you got here?”

“I told you, I was on the bridge of _Moya_. Some kind of energy phenomenon opened up around me, and suddenly I was here. And you, are you First Officer Aeryn Sun of the Peacemaker Congregation? My First Officer?”

“I was Officer Aeryn Sun, Icarion Company, Pleisar Regiment, of the Peacekeepers. Until Commander Crais, who looks exactly like you but has a beard, declared me ‘irreversibly contaminated’ and had me expelled. And has been hunting us for most of a cycle, because he thinks that Kryton murdered his brother. Does none of that mean anything to you?”

“My brother murdered a cycle ago? I talked to Tauvo yesterday. And I would never consider any sentient species ‘inferior’”. 

“Ha! Hypocritical frellnick! He’s just trying to confuse us while his Command Carrier sneaks up on us and shoots us in the arse. Let’s kill him and starburst.”

“Rygel”, said Ka, “I don’t want to lose Kryton either.”

The Hynerian threw his hands up and retreated. There was a humming sound and a group of battered looking, bile-coloured DRDs buzzed into the bridge. They all had built-in energy weapons, which they pointed menacingly at Crais. He had never previously thought that a DRD could seem aggressive, but even they didn’t seem to like him much.

“D’Argo and Rygel, stay here. I’ll put Crais up in one of the cells. We can question him once Zhaan and Pilot have some answers.” Aeryn grabbed Crais by the shoulders, pulled him up to his feet, and frisked him thoroughly. “Clean.” She pushed him towards a corridor. “Move!”

* * *

“So”, D’Argo said, “in your world, _Moya_ is an independent ship, and there is no Captain Crais.”

“Yes, and if he’s expecting a military vessel he’ll have a shock.”

D’Argo was taking John to what they called “temporary quarters”, but he was guessing would be a cell of some kind. Aeryn was still acting as commanding officer, but John could see that she was worried about Crais. Obviously in this universe they got on a lot better. The corridors of _Moya_ had the same layout so far, but instead of cells he could see offices, laboratories, luxurious quarters. “Are you allowed to tell me what you use Moya for?”

D’Argo laughed. “It’s no secret, Crichton. Everybody knows this ship. We use her for humanitarian missions, goodwill, to transport VIPs… _Moya's_ the Peacemakers’ most charming public face.”

There seemed to be a commotion of some sort ahead of them. As they got closer, Crichton hurried forward as he recognised familiar faces.

“And I will have a face to face explanation from Captain Crais. Whatever you say, this is not my first time on a Leviathan, and I can feel that _Moya_ has been stationary for almost an arn. I demand…”

“Buckwheat!”, John called to the richly dressed Hynerian hovering a few feet above the ground. He ran up to him, and the tall Delvian woman standing next to him, and the pretty, grey-skinned girl in a painfully-smart Peacemaker uniform he had been haranguing. He grabbed the outraged Rygel’s cheeks and pinched them affectionately. “Zhaan and Chiana, wow! What are you in this universe?”

D’Argo grabbed John and hastily shoved him behind him. “I am so, so sorry that happened, your majesty, your excellency. Entrant Chiana, I’ll take over. Now, your majesty, I can confirm that there has been a minor technical fault and that at present we are unable to starburst. I am sure you would rather Captain Crais were overseeing the repairs than saying sorry to you, so please do accept it from me. The Sebacean who just accosted you was recently rescued from a wrecked freighter. I am sure you can forgive his ramblings. The oxygen starvation, the horror of seeing his beloved suffocate to death in front of him… I fear that he will never regain his sanity. I promise that you will never have to see him again.”

Zhaan hastily began to speak. “Thank you, Middling-Commander. We’re sure that Captain Crais is making every effort. May we remind you, though, of the urgency of the situation? The longer the Dominar takes to reach his meeting with the Delvian Council, the greater the risk that events on the ground will spiral out of control and doom us to a war nobody wants.”

“Hey, your majesty!”, Crichton called. “This is probably nothing, but watch out for your cousin.”

Dominar Rygel looked at him in shock, then suddenly brightened. He laughed in John’s face and turned to Zhaan. “Ah, now I know he’s insane. The man believes in vengeful spirits!”

Entrant Chiana began to hurry away, looking relieved. John drew her aside and smiled at her.

“Hey, Pip. This must be bizzaro-world, you in a uniform.”

Chiana looked puzzled. “Pip?”

“Crichton. Please come with me.” D’Argo had managed to placate the passengers. 

“Who is this guy?”, Chiana asked him.

D’Argo lowered his voice. “He’s the Sebacean who got thrown out of the anomaly that Captain Crais was pulled into.”

“Middling-Commander! Explain this ‘technical fault’ to me!”

D’Argo growled, then said “Entrant, please take Mr Crichton to one of the temporary quarters on Tier 4. “Tell him anything he asks that isn’t secret.” He turned and headed back to Rygel and Zhaan.

“So, Entrant”, John said. “What’s the Dominar getting his panties in a bunch about?”

Chiana looked serious. “The Hynerian Empire and the Delvians aren’t getting on right now. There’s fighting all along the DMZ. You know, some border dude wants to show how big his mivonks are and takes a shot at the other side, somebody gets hit, somebody shoots back… So we’re taking Dominar Rygel and Ambassador Zhaan, the Delvian ambassador to Hyneria, to one of our big stations so Rygel can talk to a Delvian Councillor, maybe sign a treaty.”

“And you’re an Entrant in the Peacemaker Fleet. I thought the Nebari didn’t get on with anyone.”

“My parents got away cycles ago, I was just a little girl. The Peacemakers gave us asylum. And I’m the first Nebari Ensign in the Fleet!” Chiana practically jumped up and down with enthusiasm.

Chiana pulled John to a stop as they reached a sliding door. “These are your temporary quarters. There’s a comm if you need anything.” She opened the door and looked embarrassed. “I’m supposed to tell you not to try and open the door. Gotta know where we can find you.”  
“Don’t worry. I’ve been locked up by much nastier people.” John walked into the quarters and looked around the plain room. “Wow, an actual mattress. Luxury cell.” Chiana smiled awkwardly and shut the door on him.

* * *

Crais stumbled as Aeryn pushed him again. “Move! Don’t let me catch you up.” The corridor was dark and brown as everywhere was, and the doors to the rooms on either side had bars.

“These look like cells, Officer Sun.”

“ _Moya_ was a prison ship when the other you was commanding her. Isn’t yours?”

Even after everything that had happened in the last arn, Crais was shocked. “A Leviathan used as a prison ship? With all that means?” He tried not to think about how a Leviathan with prisoners aboard would feel. “And how did your crew come to be on a prison ship? Were they…”

“Prisoners. Yes. Stop.”

Aeryn pushed Crais to the far side of the corridor as she opened a cell, the armed DRDs surrounding him. “Get inside.”

Aeryn shut the doors on Crais, then leaned up to the bars. “Captain Crais, I don’t think you are the Crais I know. You seem almost like a decent person. Do you know anything at all about how you got here and how we can get Kryton back?”

Crais looked her in the eye. “Officer Sun, I genuinely have no idea.”

Aeryn stepped back. “I hope that you’re lying. We’re a democracy. I won’t get to decide what we do with you.” She turned and walked away. Most of the DRDs followed her.

Crais let out a long breath and sat down on the cell’s hard bed, trying to calm himself and conserve his strength for whatever these versions of his crew and passengers might decide to do to him. All he could do was hope that the anomaly would come back and either give up “Kryton” or take him again. After a while he noticed that he couldn’t hear the DRDs anymore, and felt as if he was being watched. He looked up and saw an angular shadow looking through the bars. He stood up for a better angle and recognised her. “Entr-… Chiana!”

Chiana beckoned him over. “So you’re this Crais all the others are so scared of.” She stuck a finger through the bars and ran it down his chest. “Don’t look… scary.” Her hair was wild and she was wearing some kind of tight black textured cropped top and leggings. His eyes irresistibly went to the strip of toned bare blue-grey around her stomach for a second, before he looked up at her face, and was shocked at the… offness… in her eyes and expression compared to Entrant Chiana, so cheerful and wet behind the ears.

“Hello”, he said. “No, I’m not scary. There’s been a terrible misunderstanding. I just want to get back to my _Moya_. I’ll do anything I can to help bring Kryton back.”

She smiled. “Oh, everyone wants to get Kryton back. Mostly. Not Rygel, he only cares about Rygel. Maybe not Pilot, who knows what Pilot wants? But the others want… Kryton. But maybe not as much as they want to kill you slow… and ugly.”

His blood ran cold at the casualness that she said it with. “And what do you want?” He tried to hint at whatever recreational things she might be interested in.

Chiana smiled a predatory smile. “You got anything I want?”

Heavy footsteps sounded down the corridor, along with the humming of a sled. “Crais! There’s a Command Carrier six arns away and we have no idea how to open the wormhole again. Get ready to tell us what we want to know.”

“They’re going to torture you. Come on.” Chiana started to open the doors.

“Wait!” Crais grabbed her wrist through the bars. “Why are you helping me?” 

Chiana looked uncomfortable. “Maybe I don’t like seeing anyone locked up and hurt. Maybe you’re the Captain of a great big ship and you could do all kind of things for me.” She chuckled, brought her face so close to him that he could feel her breath on his mouth, and whispered “And you’re hot.”

Crais let her go, feeling deeply uncomfortable. What had happened to turn the Entrant he knew in his universe into this perverse, amoral creature? She opened the doors and pulled him out of the cell, then ran over to the other side of the corridor and slid up a hatch in the wall. “Move!”, she said.

* * *

The doors of Crichton’s “quarters” slid open to reveal First Officer Sun. “Follow me”, she said, and led him down the corridor at high speed, John struggling to keep up. “The anomaly’s opened again. Hardly enough to get a finger through.”

The entered the bridge, and John saw it, a blue-white glow hanging in the air about three feet above the ground. He heard Zhaan’s voice calling “Crichton! Crichton!” and ran over to the glow.

“Zhaan! Can you hear me?”

“Yes, John. Are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Listen, I’m on the Command of some kind of alternate _Moya_. Their Captain got sucked into the wormhole as well. Is he on your _Moya_?”

”Yes.”

John tried to think how to avoid upsetting the Peacemakers too much. “Is he alright? His crew are worried about him.”

“He’s fit and well for now. We gave him quarters and asked him to remain in them, but Chiana volunteered to show him round _Moya_. They seem to have got lost in the maintenance passages. Aeryn, D’Argo and Rygel are looking for them now.” She paused. “There’s a Peacekeeper vessel six arns away. D’Argo and Rygel really want to find out if he knows how to get you back, so we can be on our way before they get mixed up in this.” 

John swore silently. “Keep in touch with Pilot, get him to keep track of everyone. If D’Argo or Rygel find Crais make sure they bring him to Command straight away and don’t mess around. Do you and Pilot know anything about the wormhole?”

“Pilot says that when the wormhole is open he can detect a flux of Bajon particles through it.”

“What are Bajon particles?”

“Exotic particles with a charge of one-eighth that of a proton, a mass of one-quarter proton mass, and five units of strangeness. They have a corrosive effect on the fabric of reality and tend to form wormholes. And John, they’re not natural.”

“Are you saying that this wormhole is artificial?” John heard muttering around him, and hoped to god that he hadn’t stumbled into anything dangerous on the Peacemaker Moya.

“Possibly. Pilot says -”. The wormhole collapsed with a loud crackle. A bolt of energy hit John in the face, knocking him back and feeling like a whiplash. He turned to First Officer Sun. 

“Did you hear that?” 

The voice of a Pilot came over her comm. “Yes. Science Officer Strappa and I are calibrating sensors now to detect if there is a source of Bajon particles in the area.”

“Can we make them?” John asked excitedly.

“Not with any technology on board this ship. Bajon particles have only been detected in a few very high-energy particle physics experiments.”

“Dren. Maybe there’s some way of predicting when it’ll open again. I’ve made some observations of wormholes before. Officer Sun, do you trust me to work with your Pilot and Officer Strappa on this?”

“Yes, if Middling-Commander Ka can be there as well.”

“On it”, Ka said. “Come on, Crichton, we’re going to Pilot’s den.”

* * *

“Take me to Pilot’s den,” Crais said to Chiana.

“Why?”

“Where I come from, Pilots are sworn to protect and serve anyone on their Leviathans.”

Chiana brightened. “Ahhh… Same here. He’s a frelling doormat.”

She took a new passageway and pulled him down it. Minutes later they were in Pilot’s den, more or less the same shape as on Crais’s _Moya_ but very different. This den was a gloomy cavern, with only a familiar crustacean figure tending the control boards, all alone. Crais stepped towards the Pilot and called him.

“Crais”. The Pilot was hostile, suspicious, but wasn’t attacking him on sight.

“Pilot, whatever your Crais might have done to your passengers, I’m not him. I throw myself on your mercy. By bad luck, I’m a passenger on this ship. Please protect me.”

Pilot turned his head curiously towards Crais. “Why should I?”

Crais thought hard. “ _Moya's_ Pilot and I are… very close. I personally picked him to replace our old Pilot. I couldn’t go to his homeworld myself, but I sent my best officer to offer him the post. Some people thought he was too young to be bonded, but I made sure he got the chance.”

Pilot looked at Crais suspiciously. “To replace your old Pilot?”

“Yes”, Crais said, remembering how it had felt when he’d heard about the old woman’s diagnosis. “She died, I’m afraid. I was there. At least _Moya_ didn’t spend very long on her own. Did something like that happen here?”

“Yes”, said Pilot, in a curiously flat voice.

“Your crew all hate me. I understand that if they were prisoner, if your Crais was their warden, but you were his crew. Surely he trusted you? Did he give you the stars? I can explain to them, you can tell them Crais wasn’t all bad, everything he did for you.  
”  
Pilot lashed out with an arm and, to Crais’s astonishment, knocked Chiana senseless. Another arm grabbed Crais by the throat and started to throttle him. Pilot pulled Crais face to face with him, his face contorted with a level of anger and hatred that Crais couldn’t believe one of his species capable of.

“Do. Not. Blackmail. Me.”, Pilot ground out as Crais struggled helplessly. He activated the comms to the rest of the ship. “Crais is in my den. He threatened to kill Chiana unless I opened _Moya_ to space and killed you all. I barely managed to overpower him.” Pilot turned the comms off. “If you say a word about the past, about our “relationship”, I will kill you.”

Crais tried to imagine how he could have frelled this up so badly. He tried to speak, but Pilot was still crushing his throat. He heard footsteps rushing towards them.

* * *

Pilot’s den on the Peacemaker _Moya_ was surrounded by consoles, at least twenty Peacemaker techs working on them. John and Ka were met by a chalk-white-skinned, toothy man of a species John had never seen before, who reminded John of Uncle Fester from the Addams Family and introduced himself as Science Officer Strappa. John explained the Bajon particle characteristics that Zhaan had managed to tell him before the wormhole collapsed, and Strappa and Pilot began to work on a detector for them. John tried to help for a while, but it soon became obvious that it was more a programming than a pure science matter, and that John didn’t have enough experience with these Peacemakers’ technology to be much help.

A woman in coveralls walked into the den and touched D'Argo’s chest in passing, with casual affection. It took a few seconds for John to recognise her, but when he did he felt shock in the pit of his stomach.

“Lo’Laan!”, he couldn’t help crying out. She turned to stare at him bemusedly, and Ka looked concerned. 

“Who’s this, D’Argo?”, Lo’Laan asked.

D'Argo looked deeply uncomfortable. “Lo’Laan… I’ll explain later. Can you find something else to do?”

Lo’Laan looked annoyed. “D’Argo, how does he know me? Is he something to do with what happened to Captain Crais?”

D’Argo sighed. “He came through the anomaly when Crais disappeared. He claims he’s from _Moya_ in some other dimension, where there are different versions of all of us.”

Lo’Laan turned to look at John. “So you know a different version of me? One thing I know, she must be with D’Argo.”

All John could think to say was “The other D'Argo loves the other you very much.” He tried to keep it light, but could see that he hadn’t managed it. He tried to flip the subject round. “So, the Peacemakers don’t have a problem with you being a couple on the same ship?”

“It’s fine as long as we aren’t in the same work team”, Lo’Laan said. “Is it different where you come from?”

“Everything’s different where I come from.” John made a special effort to keep his voice calm.

“Have you got any family?” 

“Oh yeah, my big brother Macton. Is he on your Moya?”

“And he and D'Argo get along?”

D'Argo was obviously feeling that things were getting far too intimate, but couldn’t stop Lo’Laan in full flow. “Course. I mean he did the whole big brother thing for about half an arn when we started dating, ‘You’ll be in big trouble if you ever hurt my little sister’, but no-one could ever hate my sweetie, could they?” D'Argo looked embarrassed but happy, but then drew himself up.

“Lo’Laan, we still don’t know if he’s trustworthy.” Lo’Laan hastily stepped back a bit.

John tried to smile disarmingly and get less personal. “So no one’s got any problem with interspecies dating here?”

D'Argo grinned. “Everyone’s a sentient adult, why worry?”

John was starting to feel as if the alternate _Moya_ was the nicest place he’d been in for months, which made him feel a bit worried. He’d appeared as their captain had vanished, but nobody had really interrogated him, the security on him was token… He could probably blow their ship to bits from here if he wanted to. He remembered Sykar for a start, and how Tahleen’s colony had seemed at the start. No society could be this laid back and happy, there had to be a catch somewhere.

“I mean, you’ve got tentacle beasts in fishtanks on wheels, you’re telling me you’d be fine if one of them wanted to marry your brother?”

The Kas looked at him with growing anger and contempt. John backpedalled hastily. “Hey, I’ve got no problem at all. Just where I come from some people aren’t happy about it.”

D'Argo stepped over to him. “There is no species inequality in this civilisation. There has been no blood hierarchy for hundreds of generations.”

John pushed a bit further. “Thing is, I can’t help noticing, there’s all kinds of people in your crew but the Captain and the First Officer are both Sebaceans. They’re really running things, aren’t they?”

D'Argo sighed. “We’re the only ship in the fleet where the Captain and First Officer are the same species. Fleet Command were very unhappy about First Officer Sun being promoted. If there are too many people from the same culture on the same ship, they think too alike… they might not come up with enough good ideas in an emergency.”

“And what if you aren’t in the big shiny fleet? What’s life like here for working stiffs?”

Lo’Laan looked embarrassed. “Well, it’s not a perfect world. Not as good as we’d like. Some people who don’t have well-paid jobs have to work six arns a day for a living wage. But at least everyone gets free education and healthcare. You don’t have to pay for your drugs, do you, D’Argo?”

D’Argo started to look worried. “Lo’Laan, this guy doesn’t have to know my whole medical history.”

“Drugs”, John said. “What drugs? You got something physical wrong with you? Or is it that Luxan hyper-rage thing?” 

John could see from the look on the Kas faces that he’d struck on the truth. “I knew it! Your society’s so peaceful and happy ‘cos everyone’s doped to the eyeballs! Nobody asking questions, everyone happy little worker bees while whoever’s really in charge does… what? What are they really doing? Sex? Wealth? Conquest? Slavery? Universal devastation? And what happens when you don’t take the pills, D’Argo? Does Big Nurse take you off to some little room somewhere until you’re nice and co-operative again?”

John was shocked when it was Lo’Laan who grabbed him by the shirt. “What are you trying to say? Why are you so desperate to find something wrong with us?”

John looked back at her. “Because nothing can be this good, nowhere can be like this… Star Trek is not frelling real! Where is the catch? Where’s the little kid chained to a wall somewhere?”  
Lo’Laan looked him in the eye. “If I have to tell you all this, I hope you’re grateful. Yes, Luxans have hyper-rage. D’Argo can control it, but it is so, so hard for him. Yes, sometimes it’s easier for him to take tranquilisers. I don’t know what happens in whatever dren-world you come from., but nobody makes him do it. He needs to sometimes and he had to explain all this to three doctors before they’d give it to him. So don’t use my husband’s problems because you can’t believe that anybody can be better than you are.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You should be.”

John looked around and noticed that everyone in the den was staring at him. He calmed himself and stepped away from Lo’Laan. Suddenly, something else struck him. “D'Argo, you don’t have a beard.”

Ka seemed relieved as well as bemused. “No. It’s traditional, but the braids take so long in the morning.”

John was getting excited again. “Does Captain Crais have a beard?”

“What? Why?”

“Middling-Officer Ka”, John said slowly. “Trust me on this. It’s really, really important. Does Captain Crais have a beard?”

“No”, said D'Argo, and then as John began cackling out loud, “What does that mean?”

“It means this is a mirror universe!”, John shouted. “And I’ve been on the dark side all my life!”

Strappa cautiously came up to him holding out an electronic pocket device. “Ah… we have managed to calibrate this multisensor to preferentially detect the particles you described to us.” Suddenly the device started beeping loudly and Strappa looked at the screen in shock. “And it appears to be detecting them again now, somewhere up on tier five.”

D'Argo pointed to John and Strappa. “You, come with me. And Crichton, keep quiet.”

* * *

“I swear, I did not threaten Chiana. Why would I do that to the only person who considered helping me on this ship? And why would killing you all help me? I’d still be trapped here!” Crais looked around command at the hostile faces around him. “Officer Sun, you told me you thought I seemed a decent person. Have you changed your mind?”

Aeryn looked at him with loathing. “Pilot wouldn’t lie to me. I gave you the benefit of the doubt. Are you really our Crais trying some crazy plan? Is that your ship coming?”

“No! I tell you, I’m not from this universe. You want me off your ship, I want to get back home. We need to try and work out how to communicate…”

“Like we’re going to help you frelling communicate!” shouted Rygel.

“How can we get Kryton back?” asked Aeryn.

“I don’t know.”

Aeryn looked at him with a hint of sadness. “I’m sorry. I can’t just believe you now.” She picked up the set of chains from the floor where they lay and began to manacle him. “Last chance. Where is Kryton?”

“On my ship, I hope.”

“How do we get him back?”

“I don’t know.”

“Rygel”. Aeryn gestured with distaste to the Hynerian, who flew out of the room. 

“Where’s he going?” Crais asked worriedly.

“He’s bringing equipment”, said Ka, “So we can find out what you really know.”

Crais felt his stomach turn over. “Aeryn, Aeryn I’m begging you. Don’t let them do this. Please, over on my ship, I think we have something. For everything that might be between us there, for what your alternate self feels for me, don’t let them torture me, please!”

“I wish things were different”, said Aeryn. “But have three arns to leave here, with Kryton. And you’re the only person who might know how we can do that.”

Rygel flew back in, carrying a sack. He hovered over Crais, and slowly drew out a small, delicate knife, waving it before Crais’s eyes, letting him see it from every angle.

“Finally”, Rygel said, “You’re going to pay for what you and your friends have done to me.”

“Your Majesty”, said Crais. “Please. Please believe me. I’m not the man who hurt you. I want to be back on _Moya_ and Kryton back here is much as you do. I’m not your enemy!”

Rygel looked down at him. “Maybe not. But if you are a different Crais, at least I can practice for when I get my hands on the real one.”

He reached down towards Crais, and Crais started screaming.

“You’re not as tough as the real one. Pity.”

Crais snapped at the insult. “What the frell is wrong with you people! I’ve done nothing to you! Since I got here I’ve been imprisoned, hunted, sexually harassed, slandered, tortured! You say I put you in jail and hunted you, looks like I was frelling right! I hope that Peacekeeper ship gets here and blows us all to little bits!”

“Stop!” Aeryn shouted. Everyone turned and noticed what the noise of Crais’s cries had stopped them from hearing. A human-sized wormhole had opened on _Moya's_ command.

* * *

D'Argo led John and Strappa at speed through the corridors of _Moya_ , pushing past people of different shapes and sizes apologetically, at one point making them climb over a huge, many-legged being that almost filled the corridor and didn’t seem impressed by their embarrassed “sorrys”. 

“We’re getting closer”, Strappa panted. The device emitted a new, higher-pitched bleeping, and Strappa ran over to a door. “Here!”

“Those are Entrant Chiana’s quarters.” D'Argo banged on the door. “Entrant! Are you in there? We need to come in.”

The door stayed closed. D'Argo tapped his comm. “First Officer Sun. Come to Entrant Chiana’s quarters immediately.” Officer Sun replied briefly and D'Argo cut the comm off, then stood waiting.

“What are we waiting for?” John asked.

D'Argo sighed. “We cannot force our way into an officer’s quarters without the commanding officer present. It’s an invasion of privacy.”

“What?” said John, then “OK, you live in a Utopia. I don’t.” He grabbed the pistol from the holster on D'Argo’s waist and shot the door control. He handed the pistol back butt first to a shocked D'Argo and forced the door sideways.

John ran into the room and threw himself to the side as Entrant Chiana let off a pistol shot at him, then turned to fire at the odd-looking device on her desk. D'Argo tackled her before she could pull the trigger, knocking her to the ground. As they struggled and rolled on the floor, John walked over to the device. He’d never seen anything exactly like it before, but he could tell that part of it was meant to be spoken into. A voice came from the device. “Are you there? Repeat, are you there?”, then a blast of static and silence. D'Argo had Chiana pinned to the ground.

“What’s that?”, John asked Chiana. Chiana spat at him.

Strappa was examining the device. “It’s obviously some kind of covert communicator. I’d have to dismantle it to tell you how it works.”

John remembered something. “In my universe, not long ago, we had a Starburst accident on _Moya_. We broke into a different reality, the ship was almost destroyed. My Chiana said the Nebari in my universe were working on a way to break through into other universes as a weapon, but it went wrong and the whole planet got blown up. Maybe the Nebari here are sending messages through a different universe.”

John leaned over Chiana. “This thing makes little holes in reality with bajon particles to send messages through, doesn’t it?”

“Frell you, pink boy”, Chiana replied.

A squad of gun-waving security types burst through the door. “Squad, please take Entrant Chiana to the brig and confine her until further orders. Maximum security.”

“D’Argo”, John said, “We need her to help with this thing.”

“I’ll only talk to Captain Crais”, Chiana said. Something seemed a little smug about her, despite the situation. 

“Entrant”, D'Argo said. “Can you give any explanation for this?”

“Entrant”, Chiana repeated sarcastically. “Intelligence Commissar Chiana, AU-176/85, please.”  
D'Argo and John tried to question her further, but all she would repeat was her true rank and serial number. 

Strappa was still examining the communication device. “I think I can control this. There don’t seem to be any booby traps. It’ll take a few arns until I’ve mastered it fully, though.”

“We don’t have a few arns”, John said. The others looked at him worriedly. “We have to assume Chiana told the Nebari everything that’s been going on. She knows we’re stuck here, because you won’t abandon Crais. She knows we have the Dominar of the Hynerian Empire and the Delvian ambassador aboard. What would you do if you were the Nebari?”

D'Argo stiffened. “If a Nebari battleship was patrolling the border, they could be here in an arn and a half. We’ve got some Light Patrollers and Heavy Protectors, but we can’t fight a Nebari ship.” He touched his comm. “First Officer Sun, Entrant Chiana is a spy. Her communicator back home was what opened the anomaly. We’ve captured it, but the line was open. There’s probably a Nebari battleship on its way here now to shoot the dren out of us and kill or capture Dominar Rygel and Ambassador Zhaan. Orders?”

A few minutes later, John and Strappa were frantically wrestling the Nebari device onto the bridge. A furious Dominar Rygel and Ambassador Zhaan had been loaded onto a Peacemaker Heavy Protector (which looked to John suspiciously like a Marauder) which was flying at top speed towards the nearest inhabited system. 

“Science Officer Strappa”, said First Officer Sun. “Probability of successfully opening an anomaly large enough to retrieve Captain Crais?”

“Sixty percent”, said Strappa proudly.

“Probability of turning the ship or us inside out?”

“Ah… ten percent, ma’am.”

“Do it.”

John and Strappa cautiously turned up the power to the Nebari communicator. A glow began to appear a few feet above the ground. As the power contined to build it crackled, pulsed, and then slowly opened a hole in the world. Crichton cursed to himself as he heard Crais screaming.  
“Since I got here I’ve been imprisoned, hunted, sexually harassed, slandered, tortured! You say I put you in jail and hunted you, looks like I was frelling right! I hope that Peacekeeper ship gets here and blows us all to little bits!”

Sun and D'Argo drew their weapons and pointed them at the wormhole.

“Get away from Captain Crais!”, First Officer Sun shouted. 

“No!” shouted John. “Nobody fire!”  
Sun and D'Argo didn’t turn to look at him, but didn’t pull the triggers.

“I don’t know what would happen if anybody fires a weapon through that hole, but I don’t want to find out. Rygel, for frell’s sake stop whatever the hezmana you’re doing and get away from Crais.”

There was the hum of a throne-sled reversing.

“Captain Crais”, Officer Sun shouted, “Are you alright?”

“I think I’ll live”, Crais said weakly.

“Unchain him”, Aeryn ordered. 

Officer Sun turned to John. “Now step towards that anomaly.”

“OK”, said John, and moved towards the wormhole. Officer Sun moved her gun back to the wormhole, and John jumped back to the Nebari device and, with a mental apology, gave Strappa a right cross to the jaw. He slammed his hands down on the device controls. He looked round at the Peacemakers, many of whom were now covering him with weapons. “OK. Sorry people, but if you don’t drop your weapons, I’m gonna turn every dial to maximum and create a puzzle that will fascinate topologists for cycles to come.”

D'Argo looked at him with horrified betrayal, Sun with a cynical acceptance. “Drop the weapons”, Officer Sun ordered. The Peacemakers did.

“Aeryn, D’Argo, put the guns down as well. Show these people we aren’t monsters.” Crichton heard the sound of objects dropping to the floor.

“Now”, John said. “I and all my friends are claiming political asylum from the Peacemaker Congregation.”

A babble of protest and questions came from both sides of the wormhole. “Everybody shut up!” he called.

* * *

Crais felt feeling coming back to his hands and feet as Zhaan unchained him. The pain as the blood flowed back distracted him from the pain of the cuts Rygel had inflicted on him. Through the anomaly, he heard First Officer Sun furiously shouting at somebody. Presumably this was the famous Kryton.

“You are holding us hostage! Your gang was torturing Captain Crais! Why should we give terrorists and criminals political asylum?”

Kryton sighed. “Kill us, jail us, put us on trial. We won’t resist. It’ll still be better… SHUT UP RYGEL! It’ll still be better than anything that we’ve lived through over there.” He raised his voice to the people on Crais’s side. “I know this is out of nowhere for you. I know you’ve all got things you don’t want to say goodbye to. But this is a good. Place. It took me a while to accept it, but these people have peace, justice, equality. We can all come over. We should all come over.”

“Can you open a hole _Moya_ can get through?” Kryton’s Aeryn asked.

“Not yet”, said Kryton sadly. But I can work on this technology, we can come back here and open up a bigger hole, bring _Moya_ and Pilot as well.”

Crais saw the Pilot’s face appear in a shell-like hologram projector. “ _Moya_ and I will miss you. But if you decide to leave, please do not let us stand in your way.”

Crais heard Ka say from behind him. “Jothee.” 

“I know, man. If you want to stay, you can. Just think about it. But not for long, these people have a Nebari battleship coming to shoot their asses off.”

Aeryn stepped forward past Crais. “I’m coming.” She turned to the shell. “Pilot. Be here in a cycle. We’ll be back.”

Rygel moved forwards on his chair. “I’m definitely coming.”

“No!” shouted Crais. “That Hynerian tortured me. I am not letting him aboard my vessel.”

Rygel turned to him. “You need to remember who’s got their hands on…”

“GUIDO, SHUT THE FRELL UP!” Kryton shouted.

“I, Dominar of Hyneria, am sorry. I deeply regret this unfortunate misunderstanding. If I were to put myself on the mercy of your justice system, what sentence might I receive?”

Officer Sun spoke. “Probably thirty cycles for actual bodily harm and assault on a military officer.”

“I accept.” Crais heard the Hynerian mutter “Thirty frelling cycles, that’s easy time.”

“First Officer Sun!”, Crais called. “I am in command here and I refuse to have that slug anywhere near me.”

Kryton’s voice came. “Captain, we’ve asked for political asylum. I'm sorry about my shipmates. But anything they've done to you, someone with your face did worse to them. As a Peacemaker, don't you have to see the good in them?”

Crais felt ashamed to have to be reminded of his morals in front of his own crew. “For the moment, you can have asylum. But you go straight to the brig, and then we wait and see how forgiving I am.”

The other Zhaan moved cautiously towards him, smiling apologetically. “Any way in which I can serve your community, I offer myself.”

D’Argo shook his head. “I’ll miss all of you. But I can’t leave Jothee, if there’s even a chance.” He tried to smile. “I’ll be here with Pilot in a cycle. And I’ll have my son with me.”

Crais heard Junior Officer Teeg on his _Moya_ call “Two ‘Righteous Loving Correction’ class Nebari battleships detected! Two hundred microts until they’re in weapons range.”

“OK, people, let’s move!”, Kryton called.

The crew of Kryton’s _Moya_ moved to step through the anomaly. Suddenly Crais heard a crackle and a loud bang from the other side. The wormhole began to pulse threateningly.

“What’s happening?”, Kryton shouted. 

Crais heard his own Pilot. “Circuits overloaded. You pushed it too far, Kryton.”

Crais and Kryton’s crew raced for the anomaly. Crais pushed himself to the limit, gasping for breath. Suddenly Kryton came flying through the wormhole, past Crais. Kryton fell heavily against the other members of his crew, knocking them down. Crais tried to turn and help them, but he was moving too fast, tripped, and fell backwards through the anomaly. He felt Ka’s arms drag him clear as the anomaly collapsed, and to his shock heard First Officer Sun shout “Starburst, now!”

* * *

John and Aeryn sat in his quarters in grim silence.

They frelled us”, Aeryn said simply. “Your perfect people frelled us.”

Crichton tried to sort out his memories. “No, no, they wouldn’t have. I pushed the tech too far.”

“Crichton, they threw you at us so we wouldn’t get through.”

He shook his head. “If they were going to screw us, they’d have shot all of you as soon as you came through. They wanted me to get back alive.”

Aeryn toyed with the idea. “Maybe. If that’s what you want to think.”

There was silence for a little while, then Aeryn said “You really think that world was so much better than ours?”

“Their captain vanished, I came over, they didn’t know me from Adam. But they barely held a gun on me, only put me in a cell for twenty microts. They trusted me, Aeryn. That says a lot.”

“I’m sorry it didn’t happen.”

Crichton tried to smile. “Hey, we tried and it didn’t work. But we’ve survived everything this world threw at us. No way that things can get any worse.”

* * *

Crais, First Officer Sun and Middling-Officer Ka were “debriefing” in the Command Meeting Room. Pilot’s concerned face hovered in the clamshell on the wall. 

“I don’t believe this”, said Aeryn. “They were torturing you! I heard you say you hoped every single one of them got killed.”

“I gave them asylum”, said Crais. And then you and Pilot deliberately blocked them from coming across.” He sighed. “You’re right about what they did to me. But if we can’t keep our word as Peacemakers, no matter how vile the people we have to deal with, why are we better?”

Pilot cleared his throat. “I found that the anomaly you were passing through was a quantum phenomenon. To stay stable enough for anyone to pass through it, two sentient beings had to pass through it at the same time in opposite directions.”

“And I was not asking anybody in our crew to go to that hellhole so a gang of torturers could come through here”, said Aeryn.

“So you lied to them, and you betrayed them after I gave my word.”

“I did what I had to do to keep _Moya_ and her Captain safe.”

Ka sighed. “From everything Jon Kryton said to me and the others said to you, Captain, their world was monstrous. Brutal empires, exploitation, piracy… it was kill or be killed. Maybe they were lying, but it didn’t sound as if they were making excuses. Shouldn’t we have tried to rescue them?”

Pilot started to say something and then stopped.

“What?”, Crais asked.

“Captain. While the wormhole was open, _Moya_ spoke to the other one. Their universe was horrific. Their _Moya_ had been enslaved, tortured, raped, she was barely sane. The people that tortured you were the kindest that she’d known. But could all that have been bad luck? How can one place be so good, another so awful? For the good of our _Moya_ , I had to wonder. What if there’s something about our universe that makes things go right, and theirs that makes things go wrong?”

Crais thought. “That’s too mystical for me. But if that’s true, that’s more reason we should have given them asylum.”

“But what if something came over with them, whatever it is that made their universe so dark?”

“What the hezmana are you talking about, demons? Moral infections? You’re trying to excuse what you did to them.”

Both Pilot and Aeryn started to protest. Crais gestured them to be quiet. “I won’t discuss this any further until we’ve all had some time to recover. First Officer Sun, we should have caught up with Dominar Rygel’s Protector by now. Get on it. Middling-Officer Ka, get some rest.”

Crais leaned back in his chair. “And ask Entrant Chiana to come and speak to me if she has some spare time. I’d like to talk to somebody who still has some ideals left.” He looked at Aeryn and Ka, shocked by the change in their expressions. “What else haven’t you told me?”

**Author's Note:**

> This one started from the realisation that the only classic SF/fantasy single-ep plot _Farscape_ never did was the "mirror universe" idea, and that this was probably because the mainstream _Farscape_ universe would, by the standards of most space-operas, be the "evil-triumphs hellhole" one. Apologies to Chiana fans about making her mirror version the nasty one, but mainstream-universe Chiana is so hilariously clearly a hot screwed-up sexually-depraved _Star Trek_ Mirrorverse character, and to avoid seeming to endorse that sexual morality the sweet innocent mirror version obviously had to be secretly evil.


End file.
